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Dec. 20th, 2008


(no subject)


i'm leaving.

it's been swell.

happy new year!

Jun. 30th, 2008



What NASCAR driver are YOU???
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
You are pretty much the COOLEST person known to man, and you have great taste in just about everything. If you won this by accident, such as people named Bill, then you should leave this page right now because you dont deserve to even read this.

Take the quiz!

Jun. 17th, 2008


(no subject)

 I wanna be a robot when I grow up.

Jun. 7th, 2008


(no subject)

1. What's your weather?

It's about 100 degrees F & very humid right now.

2. Where are you on your way to?


3. Are you good with directions?

If they are correct, then yes.

4. Do you know your neighbors?


5. What do you smell?

A breakdown coming on.

May. 24th, 2008


(no subject)

1. Last laugh?

This morning while watching Los Hombres de Paco.

2. What do you love?

My new anatomy colouring book.

3. Gold or silver?

Cash, buddy.

4. Who do you hold hands with?

I've never held hands with anyone.

5. Friday fill-in:
There's no time to freak out.

May. 22nd, 2008


(no subject)

Amar en soledad es como un pozo sin fondo donde no existe ni Dios, donde no existen verdades.
-Alejandro Sanz

May. 18th, 2008


(no subject)

We just won 4-1 against Athletic de Bilbao. We're in UEFA for next year, cos of our goal average we're not in Champions. But we went through so much this year. Puerta RIP. The bitch ass traitor leaving us to fend for ourselves. Manolo trying his best, coming through, & still being insulted at the last goleada (makes absolutely no sense). But we got through. We're still amazing.

The season is over. I feel free. I only missed one match, which ended 0-0. I can sleep now, I can relax on the weekends, I won't be flexing my eyebrow muscles trying to figure things out about football anymore.

Until August.

Now is Eurocup, which Palop will be in, but probably not in unless Casillas breaks his face.

Go Spain.

(no subject)


During the pre-All-Star race to see who would get into the All-Star race, No.10 was taken out, then ELLIOT SADLER WAS TAKEN OUT & I WAS MAD. HE'S MY FAVOURITE. YOU DON'T DO THAT, ESPECIALLY NOT ON PURPOSE. LOSER. Then Kasey didn't win, so my team was entirely out.

BUT THEN. Kasey is in by fan votes, & GOES ALL THE WAY. FIRST ALL-STAR WIN BY THE FAN VOTE CAR. EXCITING. BUDWEISER BEING THROWN ALL OVER THE PLACE. BOYS IN RED SUITS CELEBRATING. WOO. He did really well, & during the last mandatory pit road stop, Evernham said no no, just stop then go go go go. No changes at all, & that's what won, really. A super surprising decision, which was really the most logical.


What I'm Listening To

I used to listen to this on repeat whenever I wanted out of my neighbourhood in Sevilla. It's about a neighbourhood where you feel trapped & you go out to bars & talk about things you'll never have, then at the end you decide to stay cos it's your place. I really wish I had handcuffed myself to a wall there.

I love this band. They make me want to dress like that again. They take showers & stuff, so it's okay. The singer was a football player til he got injured a long time ago which makes me question his age, he looks so young. Another boy in the band was a football player too. I want those socks.

The song is the theme song for Los Hombres de Paco, one of my favourite tv shows ever. I missed a lot of episodes while Sevilla FC was playing UEFA, cos it comes on Wednesdays. Then I left. So I've been downloading all of them, I'm currently on the 3rd season. The band is on the show a lot.

This is another one of their songs, which is highly featured on the show, cos it's Lucas & Sara's song. It's about loving someone but knowing they won't be there, won't call, & you want to get your life together so you're gonna do that, & maybe you'll see them someday, when both of you are in better places. & maybe then they'll realise what they gave up & want it again. .

I can relate. But I don't have as much hope as this kid right now. Maybe I should just wait for my Aitor, cos my Lucas isn't too smart & I'm impatient. Two years 'til Madagascar is a long time.

& OMG those socks. I love Spanish pop punk done by clean boys. It's so cute. & all sincere & stuff.
Tags: ,

May. 13th, 2008


(no subject)

MY DESK @ WORK!!!!!!!11!!!!!1


I've never had a desk before.

This one is temporary, even. But, I will enjoy it while it lasts. Basically, since it's just me & another girl working on the project right now, we were thrown into a little office that's just big enough for the two of us. We like it there, cos we have freedom & a dry erase board. We'll be in there as long as we have some work to do, so we are going slowly, but not slow enough to make our boss notice anything. It's so fun. Whenever the boss comes in I try to ask her more questions so she talks to us more, so we don't have to work as much. She will never catch on, cos my questions are amazing.

I got my new desk phone today, & we got a lockable filing cabinet. We even got keys to the office! They hang from our work IDs.

The social part of work has been going good so far. I get along really great with my colleague, who I'll call J from now on. We're both smokers, so we bond during breaks. There is a little smoking gazebo in back of the building, that I MUST make a short film about. We are all amazingly chaotic disturbed characters in there. A girl talked to me for 20 minutes about books I will never read, just cos I asked her what book she was reading (that one is actually interesting) & I also asked her if Lennie dies in Of Mice and Men which I am struggling through right now. Then I talked cars with this guy, & everyone is always talking about the geese that roam the property. It's great out there, & since we sorta regulate all our own breaks, we've been spending maybe too much time there. But we have to take advantage while we can, I think.

There are even rumours about a violin guy, who plays during lunch time, sometimes by the water, sometimes in the stair well!! I MUST FIND HIM & REQUEST VIVALDI!!!1 Supposedly he isn't very friendly & doesn't talk to people, & that is the best thing ever. & there is also a ukelele guy in the mail room! OMG. ROY SMECK, PLEASE!! I must hunt these characters down within two weeks. If I find them I will be so happy!

May. 11th, 2008


Well, I'm ready for work.


A sleek black business-casual purse that fits my wallet, passport, mobile phone, my religious relics, 3 Steinbeck books (which also means one paperback later on), cigarettes, keys, make-up baggie, iPod, sketchbook, moleskine, pens, high-lighters, & the new pink leather planner I bought today (adorned with my own Wonder Woman sticker inside). It also has room for a bit more, too, like if I ever find my maruja change purse.

It's all so neat. The important stuff in the back, next to my body, the keys & mobile phone in front for easy access. It all seems to fit, no matter what else I remember I need.

I'm also the best-dressed person in the office. Well, at least the office I did the skills test at. I shone in the sun during the fire drill, with my cute black Beatles-shoes-for-girls heels, red shirt, sleek black pants & my perfect black curls. I wonder how the call center people will be dressed. Hopefully they'll be dumpy, cos I don't have a lot of choices for this week until I get paid. I just have two pairs of pants, & three or four shirts to choose from right now. But when I get my amazingly hugest ever paycheck on Friday, I'll save money for art class next month, then go shopping with the rest.

I did quite well on the skills test, they said. I got 100% on the matching & filing parts, then 72% on the computer skills part, since they kept asking for Excel formulas I had no clue about. I forgot the score for data entry, but I only made 14 errors throughout the entire thing & they said that was super. As soon as I pressed the button to print the results, though, the fire alarm went off, & I had to stand out in the sun for fifteen minutes or so. That's when I saw how everyone was dressed.

The best thing ever was that after they told me I had the job, & I agreed to a pre-job job for three weeks, I walked out of there like I owned the place. As I was pulling out of the parking lot, God reminded me how I'm not hot shit, & my rear-view mirror falls off. I had to drive to the gas station (took a wrong turn, of course, so the ride was longer) without a rear-view mirror. I was in a rush to beat rush-hour back home (just wasn't ready for it) & the guy told me it would be 30 or 40 minutes. I wanted to cry or break something, but did neither. I just asked him could it be quicker than that, & my manipulative powers worked. I only had to wait 20 minutes or less.

I ended up getting my car fixed this weekend, cos I started & then aborted a road trip, & thought Henry might need the tune-up. He has four new tires, a new serpentine belt, new rear brake cylinders, & some more stuff. I love him. He's always been so reliable. All I had to do was sit there for 2,5 hours reading a book (Steinbeck's Tortilla Flat), drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes & listening to classical music. Hard work, indeed.

Tomorrow I go in for paperwork, & an introduction to the job. I have my two forms of ID, bank account information for direct deposit, & a sunny disposition. I recently learned how to do a fake smile that looks real (but feels awful), during Tina & I's dance-a-thon which included wigs, props & a camera. A dream of mine came true that night, we sang 'Bohemian Rhapsody' together. I never pictured myself dressed in a b&w kaffiyeh during that scenario, though, which made it all the more amazing. (This all reminds me, I should write about Boston soon.)

Am I nervous? Yes. Am I scared shitless? Not anymore. Am I excited? Only for the hour-or-more-long drive there during rush-hour, during which I will sing along to Tiny Tim & other extremely happy but twisted music.

I just need to conjure up to strength & not fag the fuck out.

May. 10th, 2008


(no subject)

Yesterday I read this really great article that studied José Antonio Primo de Rivera in the context of 1930s Europe, & asked if he was really anti-democratic or not. It looked at his rejection of political parties & such, & eventually compared him to de Valera. It was really good. It even mentioned Rousseau. My only grievance is the in-depth discussion of de Valera, I don't think that was necessary. But, still. Super.

It's in Spanish but I should definitely translate it one day. That would be the funnest.


I do believe http://www.nodulo.org/ec/index.htm is now my favourite website (OMG I wish I could have hard copies!!!) & I'll become more of a nerd by adding it to my frequent reading of Smithsonian Magazine, The American Historical Review & other such publications.

May. 9th, 2008


(no subject)

Last night was the first big storm of the season. There was a tornado just SW of hear, a severe thunderstorm all throughout the area. I forgot about tornados & didn't really want to see one yet, as I'm still getting over the idea of the earthquake in Sevilla (which was kinda cool, cos no buildings got hurt).

I went to sleep early, maybe around 2230, & was awakened at midnight for some strange reason. I had my back to the window, & all I could see was flashing lights which, in my delusion, I thought were flashing police lights or something, & was crossing myself every time it happened, as I do whenever a police car or ambulance passes (& when I see the remnants of an accident, & when I am in a moving vehicle, etc etc). But they kept happening, & I turned around to see why so many cops were needed in my neighbourhood, & then finally saw the huge lightning bolts & heard the immediate deafening thunder. Oh, ok. I immediately started with the Santa Bárbara bendita, que en el cielo está escrita, con papel y agua bendita ... that I retain from my mother, & kept on like this throughout the spectacle.

I felt I was hallucinating. I saw the sky very very dark, & I thought the porch light was illuminating the pink flowers on the tree. About half an hour later, in between Santa Bárbara recitations, I remembered that the pink flowers were on the other tree, not that one, & that the pink flowers were gone anyway. I realised that the sky was pink & the tree was black. It was beautiful, really. But the lightning kept going & the thunder got louder & I tried to think of how Dave told me that lightning is simply the static doorknob shock of the clouds.

I fell asleep eventually, & woke up to no electricity. I pretended that I was in the early 20th century. I let light into the house, read a book & wrote a bit in my new red notepad from Boston. I used this comfortably silent time to think, really, & not just freak out. I deemed myself an accomplished, world-traveled lady & knew somewhere in my tired, broken heart that the future could be, & maybe would be bright, even if I couldn't see it clear right now, like the lightning last night.

The noises returned with the electricity, but there's just not enough of it in the world to drown out my ... gulp ... hope.

May. 8th, 2008


(no subject)

I am not sure why I am such a spazz in banks, but it probably has something to do with the fact that I've always been poor, & banks have always fucked me over in one way or another. But that should have nothing to do with the personal, everyday dealings with a bank, right? Even in Sevilla, banks made me nervous. They know your name, address, how much money you have or don't have. They know what bills you are paying & how many you are refusing to pay. I either talk too low or two loudly, dress too up or too down. I just can't seem to get it right. Maybe it's the paranoia.

I went to go open a bank account today. It was raining, as it usually does on my bankscapades (either that or extreme heat). I didn't cause a spectacle like the last time I was in an American bank, but I felt everyone looking at me, even while the suit guy was discussing the Superbowl with the UPS guy. They were loud, I don't know why everyone was looking at me. Maybe it was the red crocs, but I like wearing them cos they look like clown shoes & that makes me laugh inside, & I need that a lot right now.

So I'm digging through my purse for my two forms of ID, & the lady asks me for my social. As I am telling her, she starts laughing. She did this about five times within ten minutes, & I'm not sure why. It was like I was constantly making jokes, only I wasn't. Then she kept smiling at me. Did she think it was funny that I only had 80$ to open the account with? Did she find it amusing that I had more euros than dollars? Or did she notice how horrible I look in both my ID fotos, or maybe was she smiling cos I look so much better now? What a mystery.

Every time she got up, I clutched my purse like a madwoman & tried to think of relieving things, like that one foto of my sister with my first-born nephew that makes her look like her trucker boyfriend Hoss left her Mexican ass by the side of the road. This always makes me feel better, for some reason. But then the lady was back, & told me my check card would arrive at my house within five to ten business days & then I had to sign things & it was all so confusing.

I left wondering why the week doesn't start on Monday in the States, & noticing the rain water inside my red crocs.

On a sad day the clouds part for a smile ... (loosely translated)

(preceding convo about crying & being sad & ready to punch people in their faces)

VR: I want to live in the movies.
MM: Which one?
VR: Mmm I don't know ...


MM: 300??
VR: Jaja yes!

Apr. 22nd, 2008


(no subject)


sharpie on paper
8 x 10 inches


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